2/10/2009

Get a Life Kellogg's

So we've all seen the photo of Michael Phelp's, swimming's wunderkind, taking a hit at a party. Maybe we should have known something was up when the sports folks were going nuts over his wild diet during the Olympics. That wasn't training, it was the munchies!

But really, when 42% of the public admit to smoking marijuana at least once (and those are the ones willing to be honest) you'd think people would have taken it in stride. Instead, you'd think the guy had been photographed raping a kindergarten class while kicking puppies.

The faux moral outrage of the news and tabloids was swift. The usual uptight Stepford Wives began whining and crying about the "effect on the children" and then Kellogg's, maker of everything, dumped Phelp's from its cereal boxes and ad campaigns.

I don't know about you, but I'm sick to death of all this false moralizing. I'm tired of knowing that the vast majority of the American public (over 70%) believe in decriminalization of marijuana while 30% of vocal hysterics hold our policy hostage.

I'm tired of my tax money being spent on slick commercials that pass out false information. I'm tired of people like Michael Phelps getting beat down because he puts lie to those same commercials that tell us people who smoke Marijuana even once become vegetables.

I'm tired of all this and I guess I'm not the only one. A Facebook group has sprung up calling for a boycott of Kellogg's until it reinstates Michael Phelps.

From their posting:

***ONE-MINUTE ACTION ITEM***

Please make a quick phone call to Kellogg's at 800-962-1413 and politely let the company know that as long as they treat Michael Phelps like a shameful criminal, you don't feel comfortable spending your money to support their business practices.

Plain and simple.

NOTE: Please call between 8 AM - 7 PM EST Mon-Thurs or 8 AM - 6 PM Fri.

UPDATE


Kellogg's is getting so many calls that they they ask you to press 1 to leave comments about the Phelps controversy. Button 2 is for salmonella in peanut butter!

Let's keep showing Kellogg's that they made a big mistake! Apparently, more people are calling to defend Michael Phelps than are calling about salmonella in their kids' food.
If you'd like to join the boycott against Kellogg's and their fake posturing you can find a list of products to avoid on their website.

We've joined and the loss of my Cheese-It and Keebler Peanut Butter Cracker revenue alone could probably bring them to their knees!

Let's also not forget that while Kellogg's goes on and on about Michael Phelp's taking a bong hit, their own company is responsible for illness and suffering by not bothering to ever check on the hygeine of its suppliers. Yes, Kellogg's makes Keebler products that are tainted with Salmonella from a Georgia plant that is over run with rodents, has massive roof leaks, and is utterly disgusting. How have they responded for the sickness they have caused? Why a coupon if you let them know you have a tainted product!

But what about this? Michael Phelp's has a DUI conviction. He got behind the wheel of a car while drunk. Did Kellogg's worry about that? Not at all. As the Marijuana Policy Project notes:
"Our members are as angry about this as I've ever seen them. We've been besieged by emails and phone calls from people wanting to boycott Kellogg's over the stupidity and unfairness of its action, so we will indeed be joining a boycott. This is a company that didn't mind that Phelps had a conviction for drunk driving, an illegal act that could actually have killed someone. For them to dump him for relaxing with a substance that's far safer than beer -- less addictive, massively less toxic, and overwhelmingly less likely to make users violent or aggressive -- is reprehensible. While boycotts are notoriously hard to pull off, the consumers who have made marijuana the number one cash crop in America represent a silent force that may just have been awakened big-time," said spokesman Bruce Mirken.
But you know what's really funny? All the know it all bloggers out there who are very supportive and keep saying they don't care who smokes a little weed. Then they have to throw in their big public disclaimer like this one from HuffPo's Cenk Uygur: "Now, I'm not a pothead. I don't think hemp is the answer for all of our problems (you know someone smokes a lot of pot when they feverishly tell you that you can make pants out of hemp - yes, but is that what you do with it?) ."

You know what Mr. Uygur? I'd have a hell of a lot more respect for you if you were a "pothead" instead of taking your own little backhanded moralistic swipe at Michael Phelps.

But Cenk isn't the only one who seems obligated to throw in the "I'm really a nice clean cut 50's kinda guy/gal" into the middle of their defense of Phelps. Let's look at Kath.A.rine who felt the need to issue the disclaimer in her Facebook posting: "A girl who DOESN'T smoke pot who is passionate about drug policy reform (you don't have to be into grass to care about justice and human rights and all that!!!!!!!!)"

So here's my disclaimer. I have smoked. I've never been what one would call a "stoner" but I've passed around my share in my younger days. In my "old" age I don't smoke anymore, but honestly, if it were not that I'd have to endanger my physical safety in unsavory parts of town to find it, I might consider a joint in place of a couple mixed drinks when celebrating a special occassion. It's that simple.

Those folks who will have their three or four white wines or appletinis or cosmos and then issue their disclaimer about how open minded they are because they don't smoke and want to make sure you know it, I say to you: Get off your high horse. Who cares if you smoke? Do you care if other people smoke? Probably on some level, otherwise you wouldn't feel it necessary to issue a disclaimer showing you aren't "like that."

By the way: Did you know Michael Phelps middle name is Fred? Seriously. I know that means nothing to 99.99% of you but "Fred" was our local code word for weed in high school. If I were buzzed I might think that was like totally wild!

UPDATE: For our Liberal organic friends. Don't think Kellogg's is just the makers of sugary goodness. They're also behind some of your favorite organic cereals and companies including: Kashi, Bear Naked Granola, Gardenburger, and Morningstar Farms/Natural Touch! Those companies are listed directly on their website because they tend to keep it quiet that the slaves of High Fructose Corn Syrup also make stuff they market as "all natural."

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