7/28/2009

When Is It OK to Grow Up?

Here in Arizona we're debating an event that was supposed to go off as family friendly but has now devolved into public nudity. Nevermind that public nudity is illegal in Arizona.

However, in the midst of the discussion I realized that there is still a segment of the gay community that can't seem to grow up. I speak here specifically of certain gay men.

There seems to be that contingent of 40 or 50 somethings who perpetually live in the 1970's. They seem to identify solely with sex. Not with relationships or affection but with sex.

What's worse, is they resent anyone who has moved past all that stuff. They resent those in the community who have stable and loving relationships. They resent those with families and true friends. They cannot stand anyone who has forsaken promiscuity for a stable life.

Recently, I've been seeing a lot of online ads about AIDS and HIV testing. Honestly, after so many years away from that kind of life and in a stable monogamous relationship for many years, I sort of find myself wondering about these scary ads.

Then I see the Gay Peter Pans and I understand the ads. These men, despite their age, have never grown up. They are still acting just like they did at 19 or 20. They are terrified of getting older because their whole identity is sex. Without this "in your face" sexuality they don't know who they are. In short, they have failed to develop a full personality.

So, as many of us try to move on with life and gain those rights that will protect our relationships and families, we must constantly find ourselves fighting the Peter Pans who would have us all return to an era when our only concerns were how long till the next cocktail and how long is the next cock.

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