7/10/2012

NOT part of the Neo-Gay Agenda

Undoubtedly, the "Genderqueer" folks have decided
the Rainbow Flag isn't for them anymore. I didn't even
know this was a "new" thing. But I shouldn't be
surprised as I was told a few years ago that
they and the transgenders did not "identify"
with the Gay and Lesbian community anymore.


Out of the blue I got an email from the editor of a large gay blog asking if I'd be interested in writing for them or sharing content from here that deals with LGBT issues. I gave it about two minutes of thought and decided, no.

The more interaction I have with younger members of the community the more I realize I don't really fit in anymore. Those of us growing up in the 80's have one last real battle and that's marriage. We want to get married. We like the idea of settling down with the person we love and having a pretty normal and boring life.

Maybe that's a leftover of the Reagan era that somehow seeped into our brains. That idea of normalcy and family we heard so much about after the wild and crazy 70's. Who knows? But the upshot is that those of us in our 40's and 50's no longer really fit in all that well with the younger crowd.

I don't consider myself "queer." I like being a man. I believe in having a loving relationship that is monogamous and supportive. I can't do the neo-liberal "free pass" on religion thing where you have to criticize Christian fundamentalism but you put down Muslim fundamentalism to some sort of political and economic disparity that is really just the fault of the "Western World." I don't even understand the "T" part of LGBT anymore. Once upon a time I was pretty tight with some of the rarest in our community - those who had had sex reassignment surgery. One of my early mentors was transsexual (yes, that was the proper term back then.) Now, I have not a clue about the T portion. Transgender, Gender Queer, and whatever else is going on. It's not that I don't care, it's that I'm just tired of trying to navigate that minefield. No matter what you say or do if you're a gay man and white it's going to be wrong in someone's eyes on that end of the alphabet soup.

I think that's the crux of it. Once upon a time we all came together for common goals. Now, everyone has their own issues and think they need to be job one for everyone else. In the LGBT community there can be no compromise it seems. Righteous indignation is the watchword.

So, I won't be writing for an LGBT blog because I'm tired of it all. I wrote a column a few years ago on LGBT issues in our local community. I got so tired of dealing with the various attitudes of sub-groups that I just gave it up. Even when you were trying to help or be supportive someone was going to get pissed off because - well, they just wanted to pissed off.

I just turned 46 which is really old in the community it seems. At this stage in my life I look forward to getting a marriage certificate and just settling in for the ride. For 20+ years I battled for basic civil rights - things like being able to have sex with the person you love without being arrested. Now, I'm happy to see the promised land in my last battle - marriage. I don't want to keep battling people who should be my allies just because I'm old, like being a guy, was born white, and have a dream of just being a boring old married middle aged guy.

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